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Thursday, August 7, 2008
warning longggggg post.
sorry for all the tokio hotel song spams, but wir sterben niemals aus really suits my feelings and the situations that im in now. passing down's next thursday, and i just cant describe my feelings. i feel that i havent really heard enough band songs, played enough bass, enjoyed enough band prac, laughed enough with my juniors. i havent had enough of band. it's like concert's over, limelight's over, it's time to focus on EOYS, but no. all i can think of now is BAND BAND BAND. life in nanyang is pretty meaningless and pointless without band. i still remember looking forward to band every tuesday thursday and friday, wishing that time would pass faster during lessons. classes were such a bore! and once the dismissal bell rang, i would immediately pack up and choing to bandroom. :D i still remember dreading every sectionals on thursday, cause sectionals meant that we had bass lessons, which meant that mianjun and i were going to be screwed cause we were always afraid that we were unable to play the pieces on ms yeo's full bass and she just come after us. D: i still remember all the lunch pracs that we came back for during lunch, how the bandroom is always so freaking noisy (especially clarinets, trombones, horns and PERCUSSION) and our poor section can never hear ourselves. i still remember everytime i laughed in band prac, is always because my crazy junior did something hilarious or utterly ridiculous, or some very lag section like EUPHOS cannot synchronise their actions and gimmicks properly so they always sit down at different times, or percussion people were damn cute and ganchoing running around playing and filling in their parts. that was all the ups i had. i still remember the times when things got difficult, when i was chided almost everyday by my parents about band, how they threatened to get me out of band, how much they hated it, how they downgraded our band's standards, and said it was pointless for me to be in band. i still remember the time when ms yeo tried so many times to convince jasmine and i string enzem was so much better a cca than band for a double bassist to be in, how many times she tried to persuade us to join strings instead, how many times she said a double bassist was nothing, NOTHING in a band at all. i remember the times when everything seemed to go wrong, how my academics dropped, how family matters started to appear, how emotions ran high, and how self doubts were aroused. i kept asking myself, "how did i get here? why this road? is it all worth it?" but in the end, it was the music and the people who got me through the hard times, who proved to me that everything i went through, all the confusion, the mixed feelings, the hardships and critisms were worth it. i finally realised, band was all that i wanted, it's my everything. without it, i doubt if there's anything to my life. 4 years. 4 years of this wonderful and enriching journey, all filled with joy, laughter, tears, sadness, confusion, doubts, hardships, and fun. is it all ending here? how did i even get here? i've gained so much from this journey. every concert marked an end of a chapter, and the beginning of a new one of this life i led in band. i remember the clumsy little sec 1 i was then. always knocking down trombone cases stands. i remember being so terrified of sec 4s, yumin, aiwen, yanzhen, vivan, zhuojing etc. SYF'05 , we got a gold, and the band broke down crying. us, as sec 1s then couldnt understand. the school didnt understand. nobody did. and i doubt we ever would. i remember trying to play 7th night and when you believe for festival of arts, but i couldnt make it. i has barely started to know fingerings. i pissed string enzem people off with my idiocy, and broke down when yanzhen finally approached me to ask if i was okay, cause i wasnt. D: passing down came for the sec 4s then, and me being so weak and vulnerable then broke down immediately when i saw huijuan, jasmine, pea, pat, and liangzhen crying for aiwen. appassionata IX in ny audi on 16 December 2005, was the first concert i played in, and the piece that hit me was finale, cause it was so difficult and i was playing with the alumni, i was co terrified i would just screw up and die. pieces like rosa, simple gifts and nineties were love! other then that, appa IX was a wonderful experience for me, and after that, the first batch of seniors left me. sec 2, appa X. concert was held at VCH on 25 june. filled with many difficult pieces like ride, persis, gelato etc, it was definitely a big improvement for me (and jasmine) on the bass to be able to play these pieces. VCH was glamourous for us, the backstage was big for us at that time, and the venue was just huge compared to ny audi! :D we also had NY GLITTERS at esplanade. even though band played a small part in this production, as being the first item still left pressure on our shoulders. in addition, we had to dance. bolero was such a boring piece, and we really got sick after practicing so much for it, but awww the esplanade backstage really made up for everything, and all that photowhoring was really fun! SYF 07 on 11 april. jericho was everyone's heart and soul. shouting on stage during the climax of jericho, everyone really gave their heart in the music and shouted with all their might, shouted for victory. in the end, we were awarded a gold, SOLID GOLD. jumping for joy, eyes fillled with tears, we'll never remember jericho the same way ever again. appa XI came on 20 july, gimmicks by the previous comm were done so creatively and amazingly, it was total LOVE. :D i remember practicing really really hard for pirates dreams, eighties, and saints. and i remember the crowd cheering for the gimmicks of eighties. it was all so cool. our very first elections came and we were all so nervous. i remember that i was the first to be called in, i just went in and acted like some over-enthu, "i live in a bubble and i am happy" kind of person. it was all really crap cause i was damn nervous and terrified of all the eyes staring at me. i didnt get in anyway, our new comm was established and that was when realisation dawned upon me. sec 4s are leaving again, and this time, it's our batch's turn to take over and lead. i still remember during sec 4s passing down, almost breaking down and asking huijuan and jasmine "what would i do without you guys?" i feared the future so much- i feared the unknown. this year, our band went for japan trip but i missed that, it was really fun for them though. then the cancellation of appa XII replaced with Limelight. mixed feelings by the band again, all towards the school and its management. why all the prestige? is prestige and status all so important? why cant we have appa XII, a concert which is OUR concert? OURS not anyone else's? yet we continued to work hard, to strive towards limelight. band fiesta before blocks at the botanical gardens was really fun, we got to roughly judge where our standards stood, and at the same time, promote limelight. and then limelight came and went. thanks to the media, our concert was all over the papers and even broadcasted on the radio, and the advertisements resulted in the hype, which resulting in the 1600++ audience whom we played to at the esplanade concert hall on august 4th 2008. the feeling was marvellous. we had a great stage and arena, and a even greater backstage. to us, it was limelght no more. it felt like any other appassionata concert, particularly, appa XII. we did the seniors proud. :D before the concert, whatever tianhui and ms chong said to us for concert prep touched many heartstrings and brought many tears. in the end, many of us were crying before the concert. but i couldnt. no matter how much i wanted to, how emo and sad i felt, i just couldnt do it. i've realised i've grown much tougher and stronger through this whole journey. it has nutured me i guess. i can stand much more pressure and tolerate many more critisms and setbacks. i dont cry as easily anymore. instead of "how did i get here?" now i ask myself, "where do i go on from here?" idk. many this is a good and bad thing. all i know is that i really miss band, and i really want to go back just to replay the whole limelight repetoire. i want that whole concert feeling again. i want to hug everybody and never let go, to tell them how much i love each and everyone of you guys, to laugh with you, to cry with you, to tell you guys that i'll always be here for you to rely on, to fall back on. i'll always be by your side. nycb is THE LOVE! <3 :D Labels: band ich liebe Tom! 10:39 PM |
♥ willkommen
"WIR STERBEN NIEMALS AUS " Viel zu viel Liebe an der Musik Viel zu viele Grenzen unbesiegt So viele Gedanken und Wörter nicht beendet Ich glaub nicht das das bald endet Wir bleiben immer schreiben uns in die Ewigkeit Ich weiß das immer irgendwo was bleibt Wir fühlen wir sind fürs Ende nicht bereit Wir sterben niemals aus Ihr tragt uns bis in alle Zeit this is a slightly fangirly blog of a girl, who loves tokio hotel. komm shon, wir schaffen es zusammen. ♥ das ist mich
siewying (: $2,735,264 Lasallian, Nanyang Girl Nanyang Concert Band double basses! ♥ HCJC OG 13! ♥ APOLLO!!! :D HC BAND! ♥♥♥ HC Ultimate! ♥♥♥ swimming! TOKIO HOTEL! :D ♥♥ ich liebe TOM! ♥♥♥ 
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