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Thursday, September 18, 2008
 as you guys probably already know, im on hiatus. until the end of exams that is. image not done by me. saw it on some tokio hotel website and fell in love with it so i koped it. tom's guitar's so mersmerising in that pic! :D blog's still going to be open for posts regarding exam/ homework stuff. just for me to keep track of stuff. :/ ---------
okay. need to finish chinese tuition 2 stuffs, finish integration by tmr night. start studying for bio and chem. omg im going mad soon. im like hooked onto doing math. i cant bring myself to do any revision of bio or chem or geog! (and i havent started revising any. -.-) i feel so screwed. it's like i spend 24/7 doing nothing but math math math. (and music) every lesson in class is turning into a math period cause our class just heck about whatever the teacher's talking about, (regardless of whether it's bio, L.A. or chinese etc.) and just KEEP DOING MATH. we're all going mad. and i hate calculus and trigo. D: last week and this week were total madness. with all the WEP mess and all. (AND im still very angry over the whole thing. WHY WAS I SO NAIVE. D:) i spent like almost 24/7 doing music music music and nothing else, (well except for math in class), and stayed up till 3 almost every night to finish music. for the first time in my life, i felt that music was really my life, as in negatively, and for the first time, and hopefully the last time, i was actually troubled by music. D: and i actually spent the whole of last sunday, (literally the whole day) doing nothing else but composing my song on sibelius. D: but i guess the hard work (and time and sweat) really paid off, when mrs ee recgonised my effort put in and commented on my composition piece, saying that it was an improvement. YAY! :D course work started on monday, and tmr's the last session. 2 more hours. 2 more hours to put in lyrics, accompaniment, ending flourishes, dynamics, tempo marking, phrases, check harmonics etc etc. feels like there's so much more to do in that 2 hours tmr. D: i hope i'll be able to finish on time. and on second thoughts, i realised that it doesnt really sound very great. D: scheisse. i think im going to fail. im probably going to fail L.A. compo or SRQ, or maybe even compre. or summary. i feel damn insecure about L.A. D: but i really need my A. at least an A2 please? now my L.A. marks are like hanging on the edge, ready to fall over to B anytime. D: anyway, yesterday was our last official lesson for music. i was all "oh, last lesson. so?" about the whole last lesson thing at first, cause it didnt really sink in- but then i realised, i've been in that class for merely 2 years, and im probably not going to touch music in JC. im probably never touching music again. D: limits, boundaries, confinement. i resent it. without it i've probably have done so much better in music, and probably gone on to do what i really want to do. what i've been wanting, waiting, dreaming about to do so long. it hit me. how much you disregard music, and focus so much on my sciences, dictating me to do what YOU want me to do. your dreams differ from mine, and yours seems to be of much more importance. dont care whatever i feel, cause i'll grow to love whatever you have in store for me one day. one day. that's all bull. i hope that day never comes. i resent conformity. won't we all be unregconisable if conformity happens? im still brooding over music. like the stuff i really want to do, but will never get to due to "limits". but on a happier note, the Sitar demostration for indian music on monday after coursework was really insightful and enjoyable. i've learnt to appreciate indian music so much more now, and im LOVING it, though i still love gamelan more. i think gamelan, african music and indian music are all so enjoyable to listen to. okay chinese music is okay, but abit too, i dont know. i just cant identify with it. and jap music is D: i dont like noh or kabuki! D: i dont get it at all. i cant appreciate. D: even though i love the nohkan, the o-tsuzuki and ko-tsuzuki and stuff, with all the drumcalls, but the overall music is so hard to interprete and appreciate. :/ i need to start working on performance. i feel like im going to screw it all up again. and then i'll screw up like 15% of my whole year's marks for music. sucks. and i need to brush up on theory. MY THEORY SUCKS. shena and i were all confused during music yesterday when mrs ee went through the theory part of the o level music paper and we kept asking goh bin the pro. i think the pro was damn irritated with our stupidity afterwards, he kept laughing and sighing and tutting at us. D:
omg i totally went out of point. at this rate im going to fail. Labels: homework, music, ramblings, thoughts ich liebe Tom! 10:24 PM |
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"WIR STERBEN NIEMALS AUS " Viel zu viel Liebe an der Musik Viel zu viele Grenzen unbesiegt So viele Gedanken und Wörter nicht beendet Ich glaub nicht das das bald endet Wir bleiben immer schreiben uns in die Ewigkeit Ich weiß das immer irgendwo was bleibt Wir fühlen wir sind fürs Ende nicht bereit Wir sterben niemals aus Ihr tragt uns bis in alle Zeit this is a slightly fangirly blog of a girl, who loves tokio hotel. komm shon, wir schaffen es zusammen. ♥ das ist mich
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