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Friday, December 19, 2008
in relation to liuyi's post on male band members; beethoven, chopin, mozart, bach, lizt, bartok, schumann, verdi, schubert, stravinsky, debussy, handel, hadyn, scarlatti, corelli, dvorak, gluck, mahler, wagner, bizet, gershwin, paganini, puccini, mendelssohn, strauss, joplin etc. why are all the great & famous composers whom we commemorate & celebrate males? i think qianwen is very smart. but i cant think and act like her. it's easier said then done. i just cant let go. even after today's long talk/ debating/ emoing with kexin and qianwen, both my heart and mind are still very much clouded. both kexin and i are so similar yet so different. we've got the same feelings, the same emotions, the same doubts and questions, yet for the diferent reasons and problems. for the first time in my life, i feel so trapped. it's like im stuck in this crystal snowball and i cant get out, and someone keeps turning the ball and letting it snow on me. kexin: "ccb says, in the end it all doesnt matter. all of them said the same thing to me." so why cant i let go? is it because letting go means half my life is gone, and i cant find anything else to fill it up with? because we dont know what to do after we let go? because we dont want to regret after letting go? i dont want to give it up, yet i dont want to get stuck here. if i continue, it feels like im just self-delusion, like im cheating myself to love something i dont really like. i dont want another replay of the last 2 years, i dont want all the political issues, i dont want to go through all the itty gritty issues that i had to go through, to have all the dilemmas i had. all the deceit, the "games", the pain etc. while i've loved it, i hated it; while i've enjoyed it, i dreaded it. i've learnt the stuff you love most are the stuff that can do the most harm to you. "sometimes the more you want and expect from it, the less it gives you, and the more disappointed you get." & when i thought i've let go, i still find myself holding onto it. raaahhhh -stabs self- farewell's over. so why hasnt it ended? & yes. farewell was great today. like what cheryl said, it's probably the best we've seen. the performances by the sec 1s and 2s were great, and the vid by the sec 3s was damn hilarious. next time when we need people to act as chikopeh, we know we can call chunhui HAHA. j.k. anyway, lots of love to my 2 dearest juniors, you're the ones i'll miss most. i'll remember all the band pracs we had, all the concerts we went through, the crazy gimmicks we did, for mianjun i'll always remember all the exams we took together, the bass lessons we attended (& sometimes dreaded), all the scoldings, the hugs, the blisters on our fingers, the tears etc. thankyou so much for the memories, for the things you've done. it mattered the world to me. & not forgetting SHARKY, omg how i missed you and your wackyness. silei, wenting, alicia, henna, cheryl, pauline, chingying, tabby, amanda, huizhen, chun hui, yunxin, suyi, sherlyn, sandy, joy, yiying etc etc etc. these are probably the few juniors i'll remember most. im sorry if your name's not listed cause i havent been back for band for a long time. D: thanks sec 3s for the great farewell, thankyou to all juniors for the wonderful memories, and of course, ms chong, mr lee and matthew lim for their guidance. D: omg. this is why i cant let go. (?) & yes jiayou for SYF next year, sec 3s you guys can do it. :D twilight's too overrated. everytime i see the movie's advert and people going gaga over it, i just go URGH. sometimes, LESS IS MORE. ich liebe Tom! 9:41 PM |
♥ willkommen
"WIR STERBEN NIEMALS AUS " Viel zu viel Liebe an der Musik Viel zu viele Grenzen unbesiegt So viele Gedanken und Wörter nicht beendet Ich glaub nicht das das bald endet Wir bleiben immer schreiben uns in die Ewigkeit Ich weiß das immer irgendwo was bleibt Wir fühlen wir sind fürs Ende nicht bereit Wir sterben niemals aus Ihr tragt uns bis in alle Zeit this is a slightly fangirly blog of a girl, who loves tokio hotel. komm shon, wir schaffen es zusammen. ♥ das ist mich
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