Sunday, November 29, 2009

HCImpressione I.



errrrrr okayyyyy.


concert was great. :D okay i screwed up orient abit, i couldnt keep my nerves. ._. broke down at O of jap graff cause my fingers pluck until die already, and plucking for john williams was almost impossible cause i realised my index finger was bleeding after jap graff, so my middle finger was used to pluck for john williams instead. ><




but overall, it was fun day! :D thanks ziyan for accompanying me to coro to buy lunch, then runthrough, then OH YES, quin, val, sweechen and i played bridge during our break at like 5-7. LOL. then quin and sweechen kept calling each other for partners OMG DARN FUNNY. playing with the 2 of them is darn hilarious lahhh. both of them will quarrel with each other darn loudly hahaha darn funny omggg. then val and i kept winning the both of them HAHAHA. then sweechen kept telling quin to put her trust in her BUT FAILL. :D WE STILL WIN HAHHA.


went to change for concert then exchanged gifts. omg thanks all those who gave me presentss thankyou thankyou! :D

thanks peter, david, sheng, dingjie and ky for the flowers! :D thanks jiawen for the flower, thanks J2s for the leek HAHA. thanks jiachen for the bananas LOL. i get the weirdest gifts from the seniors LOL hahaha. thankyou jasmine for the pencil flower!!! you made one isit? darn prettyyy lah! :D

thanks mianjun and michelle for the CD omggg. thanks juniors for comingg, cheryl, rie, clarice oh mannn i miss you guys. :D


after concert, david, peter, ky, brudder and i went to serenes for supper :D haha omg peter and david were totally bitching about some guy they coincidentally knew. hahaha. tsk man. but as they say, the enemy of my enemy is my friend! :D then they were introducing their enemy to ky LOL darn funny.

david left earlier cause he couldnt miss his last bus, then sheng, peter, ky and i sat at macs to talk. oh man it's been long since i last saw/talked to ky. :D missed both peter and ky alot alot alot, so it was really good to see the both of them together again. peter and his musings with me, and ky with his lame/randomness haha. oh mannn loves. :D

so thanks alot to the guys who totally made my day. it was really good to see all of you again, to sit and talk and laugh. :D

talked from like 10 till 11.30? haha. peter kept making me laugh and both sheng and ky kept laughing at me laughing at peter. -.- oh and the niaoing never stops urgh. hahaha. some change target. AND OMG ky's bleeding love niaoing was darn epic omgggggg. wthhh.

leave it to the pro hp guy to play with words/sounds to come and niao you.

anyway went home after that with brudder. (:



this chapter of band has come to an end.

eh next up, zoo outing/family outing! :D or sheng & david can join all of us haha! :D

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ich liebe Tom! 2:18 AM

Friday, November 27, 2009

thanks for all the birthday wishes.
thanks yeo kexin for the birthday present lol.









it's been a quiet birthday.

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ich liebe Tom! 6:32 PM

Saturday, November 21, 2009


† Petar! says:
i got all the songs alr
lol
i becoming bigbang fan LOL
wedding dress.



LOL WIN.
im so influential LOL.

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ich liebe Tom! 2:29 AM

Friday, November 20, 2009

im really grateful to shengjie brudder for yesterday. :D

went to ny band in the morning yesterday to visit juniors and pass concert tickets. oh man the feeling of nostalgia stepping back into the nanyang band room. small and cosy. :D it's great to see my beloved juniors again, mianjun & michelle. mianjun and i went crazy as usual HAHA omg very long never zi-high in band liao. D: life in hcband is lonelyyyyyy. DD:


met up with sheng after that at coro to makan. but my slippers broke while i was walking from nanyang to coro. ._. in the end i took like 20+ mins to walk from nanyang to coro. -.- i messaged sheng to tell him to take his time cause my slippers broke and my wonderful brudder managed to bring his slippers for me to wear. :D yayyyyyyy thankssss. :D

after we makaned, we wanted to walk back to school but it started to rain like crazy. then i was like D: cause there was lightning! DD: scaryyy. and it was really really bad cause the thunder was seriously deafening. but sheng was like nvm lah we just carry umbrella run back to school, which was exactly what we did LOL. both of us wading back to school in the already ankle deep flood. really scary and horrible, cause he was wearing shoes and i was wearing his slippers and we were darn amused with the flood. O.O LOL. had fun dodging the water splashes from the cars and the muddy waters in the floods omg darn epic haha.

anyway the both of us reached school drenched. all the J2s were like staring at us omg. totally looked like we went swimming in the rain. poor shengjie's shoes became "sampans" as he puts it and his whole bag was totally wet, meaning all his belongings were wet too. >< both of us tried to escape the rain and the noise (from the deafening thunder) by going to reading room to mug cause class benches were flooded LOL.

went to dry ourselves first, as advised by e-hui, sijie and zeilia, cause the reading room was freezing cold and we were still drenched from the rain. then brudder and i started mugging math. the j2s went off for their physics paper. haha.

had fun mugging with brudder. both of us just kept laughing our heads of at each other's silliness or we just kept niaoing each other haha. :D oh nice brudder helped me buy foolscap cause both our foolscap were drenched from the rain omggg hahah darn hilarious. his whole stack of once new foolscap became rough paper HAHAHHAHA. lol. then cause his bag was wet he had to empty everything out from his bag to dry them oh mannn. both of us spent like half an hour laying out our stuffs to dry, like his shoes, socks, umbrellas, notes and everything LOL. the scene was DARN FUNNY, especially his monkey softtoy OMGG. HAHAHA. drying the softtoy HAHA. and oh his itouch spoilt. ><


ate marshmallows and his chips hahah. then the j2s came back from their physics paper and they were all talking about the knee-deep flood outside LOL. luckily brudder and i managed to make it back to school before that. so we mugged till 6.30 then headed for home. :D haha. fun day. :D

& yes, thanks brudder for everythingggg. :D



---

today's band was D: why he scold again.

i love jap graff. but ROARR that piece (+ xinyao) killed my fingers todayyy. D: pluck too much urgh. die die concert howww. D:

orient's still pretty bad to me D: gg. need to prac the bass solo parts. D:

was pretty tired in band. and oh man i think i was pretty obvious cause leng came to ask if i slept very late the night before after band >< urghh.

others before self.

went for training after sectionals, practicing the orient solo parts. training was muddy. & urgh im still not doing well on the field sian. D: im not faking enough, not getting free enough, and not having enough chemistry. sian. fake more. mark tighter. run faster.


dinner after that was quite hilarious, the girls discussing some stuffs at the dinner table with sheng and oli present, but we didnt want them to know what we were talking about so we were like putting sentences with hidden meanings LOL. darn hilarious. and i totally malu-ed myself by going crazy in front of everyone because what e-hui said in the end wthhhh omg i cant believe i did that. -.-

anyway thanks brudder and sista for dinner. i really need to job now. D:
& thanks sista for the black shirt! :D




been going back to school for the whole of this week. :D the company makes it worthwhile i guess. :D yay i have wonderful teammates hahaha. <333

band tmr, then trio outing in school (lol?!) after that. hope all goes well. ><

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ich liebe Tom! 11:50 PM

Thursday, November 19, 2009



i wanna play this! D:


oh and anyway, since i couldnt paste it on LJ



† Petar! says:
HAHA.
daesung darn cute.
when he just woke up

† Petar! says:
HAHA OMG DAMN CUTE.
HIS WOO

siew says:
O.O
OMG PETER KOHHH.

† Petar! says:
haha what!
siew says:
HAHAH DARN CUTE RIGHTTTT
† Petar! says:
LOL.
WOOOOO

siew says:
OMG WHEN DAE WOKE UP
-smile-
SO CUTEEE

† Petar! says:
HAHA.
cute hor.
haha i keep replaying the woo part
darn funny




' ♠ Sheng Jie ღ §J Jâx™ says:
lol you two ke siao liao





HAHAHAHAH EVIDENCES OF PETER KOH GETTING HIGH ON DAESUNG OMG HAHAHAHAHAHA.

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ich liebe Tom! 1:13 AM

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

today's training was D: very off? idk.
weather was pretty hot. nice grass, but means we were getting more tired easily.



circuit training was. D: tiring. maybe because we did it after matches. ><
oh yes, & daryl did another "almost layout", which helped us score. haha lol. :D but yongquan finally did a layout, i think, haha. while trying to do one with melvin lol!



was supposed to go for og outing after training, but because we were already late, and jiaming couldnt go, and there were only 5 people, and because i was darn tired from circuits i decided to not go :/ fail again. but then jasmine and i didnt manage to have dinner together again. D: oh man we must go have dinner together some day. we should go for the bugis pickups together one day! :DDD go there play with outside people then have dinner together :DD hahaa.

dinner was supposed to be with those eating dinner together, but then cause jiaming couldnt go, so the east people decided to go J8 to eat ._. which left yongquan, shengjie, oli brudders, and jonny and i to eat at kap -.- but it was fun though. all of us talking about super hilarious stuff. what can you expect eating with 3 super lame people? (oli, jonny, yongquan) hahaha. :D

oh and thanks oli for giving me his apple pie HAHA. :DDD and thanks sheng for helping me get it LOL. :D i sound like some super lazy person ordering people around and koping food.

went home with sheng and yongquan again. :D thanks to the both of them taking 67 home with me, and kinda making me feel better. :D

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ich liebe Tom! 10:37 PM

Monday, November 16, 2009

it's late, but tonight's a good night. :D




talked to alot of people online tonight, trying to plan for og outing with david, then asked oli about winter league and stuff. peter totally made my day by showing me this.



big bang- haru haru (acoustic)

omg LOVEEE. it's darn niceeeeeeeee <3333
& peter likes big bang now YAYYYY HAHAHA. :DDDD

oh and then i heard automatic by tokio hotel playing on the radio! :DDDD happy happy. :DDD


anyway, family outing's a darn entertaining & hilarious show to watch omg :DDD darn funny. :DDDD

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ich liebe Tom! 1:50 AM

Sunday, November 15, 2009



To do:
  • math maclaurin's series tutorial
  • math revision booklet (binomial, graphs, inequalities, calculus, vectors, SAS)
  • bio revision paper
  • GP bulletin
  • issues & ideas




yesterday's training was fun. though i'm like aching from yesterday's circuit for pt, but mannnn. the feeling is darn shuang haha, havent felt this good since i havent been able to train for quite long. :D



"muscle ache is good what! it means your muscles are growing! :DD" -david



hahaha, that's a nice thought LOL. yay okay this holiday must exercise more. :D




anyway, playing in the rain was rather fun. though the disc kept slipping out of our hands cause it was wet, and it made running on field must tougher cause it was really darn cold. daryl did a layout (whoo!) and nearly caught the disc oh mann. but it was really nice hahah.

by the way, loads of thanks to tess who lent me her boots, and then she played barefooted oh man ><, weijie for his shirt cause i dirtied mine, e-hui for helping me bring back my shirt, and nelson and jasmine for offering to lend me their shirts too. :D yayy i have such wonderful teammates. :D

dinner was hilarious. the whole group of us were having fun randoming around at serene center eating macs in this ulu corner haha. then us girls (e-hui, danette and i) were discussing some darn retarded questions about guys HAHA. darn hilariousss. oh, oh AND DANETTTE YES YOU HAVE GOOD TASTE MUAHAHAHA. :DDDD hahahaha.

oh the funny part was all the guys niaoing danette about her being dark and small with french fries (wth?) LOL. then melvin forgot to order takeaway so he had to bring his tray up to the second floor, then bring it back down to macs again. lol.


went home with sheng brudder, thanks for being my listening ear. :D though you might have your own problems, idk hmmm.


anyway, quote of the week!



nelson: "serangoon is named after a drain!"
me: "huh really?!"
nelson: "yea! shi longkang! :D"




LOL epic. hahaha.

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ich liebe Tom! 12:54 AM

Thursday, November 12, 2009

HELLO HELLO HELLO.


OP is now
GONE WITH THE WIND HAHAHA.




yay yayy. though i kinda screwed the Q and A, but rahhh i dont want to be bothered by it anymoreeeee.


after op, went to makan with szemin first, then found e-hui and nelson's and jiawen's group rehearsing op hahaha. e-hui and i watched their rehearsalssss and talked abit about some stuffs. hmm.


crashed six-oh outing at vivo after that today. unfortunately all the frisbee people werent there, and nelson had op, which left me feeling quite off and weird around them. thankfully the people were all really nice, and there's always people like chris and zhenghao to help lighten things up haha.

watched 2012, which left both joanne and i quite "traumatized" lol. Joanne didn't cry in my sister's keeper, but she cried in this?! hahah weirddd. but some parts were really moving and thought-provoking. (though now when i rethink the whole movie, there's alot alot of loopholes. D: ) others parts just left joanne and i clutching each other, screaming "omg omg omg noooooooooo!" silently. haha.

but it was good. a rather good one, as chris puts it, in compared to the other movies six-oh has been to so far.

went home with josh after the 3 hour show omg hahah. darn long but it felt like 2 hours. it was a good 3 hours hahaha.

thanks nelson for your messages lol which kept me company. (: and cheered me up. lol. serangoon wl. ._. thanksss. :D

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ich liebe Tom! 8:14 PM

Wednesday, November 11, 2009



No, I didn't watch 500 days of summer but apparently Tom told Summer to promise him that she won't wake up some day and find out that he stopped meaning anything to her. And Summer said nobody can promise something like that.






everything else has stayed the same,
it's the people whom have changed.

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ich liebe Tom! 10:39 PM

Monday, November 9, 2009



"when you're with john,
when you were looking into his eyes,
was he for real?"

-from fringe







like what kexin said so many times,
eyes don't lie.

once again, do yours?

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ich liebe Tom! 10:36 PM

Sunday, November 8, 2009



big bang with gara gara go and top of the world (jap album)
<3 dae. haha.






-----


why dont i get you. urgh.






this rah rah mood as prolonged for 5 days already. i'm getting sick & tired.

i hope tmr will be a better day. i miss school already. + trainings. D:

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ich liebe Tom! 11:24 PM




World behind my wall (English Version) by tokio hotel

It's raining today
The blinds are shut
It's always the same
I tried all the games that they play
But they made me insane

Life on TV
It's random
It makes nothing to me
I'm writing down
What I cannot see
Wanna wake up in a dream

Oh
They're telling me it's beautiful
I believe them but will I ever know
The world behind my wall?

Oh
The sun will shine like never before
One day I will be ready to go
See the world behind my wall

Trains in the sky
Are travelling
Through fragments of time
They're taking me to parts of my mind
That no one can find

I'm ready to fall
I'm ready to crawl
On my knees to know it all
I'm ready to heal
I'm ready to feel

Oh
They're telling me it's beautiful
I believe them but will I ever know
The world behind my wall?

Oh
The sun will shine like never before
One day I will be ready to go
See the world behind my wall

I'm ready to fall
I'm ready to crawl
On my knees to know it all
I'm ready to heal
I'm ready to feel

Take me there!

Oh
They're telling me it's beautiful
I believe them but will I ever know
The world behind my wall?




& you begin to realise,
anyone around you can take you anywhere, anytime.
but only you will know where you truly belong.

likewise.
everything around you can change,
but after all these times,
only you can find your true self.

------


by the way, i saw tokio hotel's humanoid album at popular's CD rama today, which was a very pleasant surprise!

also when e-hui was studying in the reading room in the morning, listening to 98.7 fm, she heard tokio hotel's automatic on air.

which means tokio hotel is finally gaining much recognition which they truly deserve here! yayyy happy happy. :D

------



anyway went shopping with e-hui for danette's birthday present today after band at cineleisure/ plaza sing. :D had fun going crazy over the smallest stuff together hahahaha. darn hilarious. especially the giant tweety bird, THE TATTY TEDDY CARDDDD OH MANN, DOREAMONN, and lots of other cute soft toys omg. it feels good being a kid again. :D

more details at e-hui's blog. photos! :D hahaha. oh thanks e-hui for treating me to the tako ball haha darn nice. :D


we need to have a family outing someday, and then sista and i go out and shop for Christmas some other day, and then i need to get concert stuff also omggg. alot of things to do. ><



----


e-hui enlightened me about some stuffs today. (:



and i realised that maybe deep down inside, even for those who are superduper adventurous and are risk takers, maybe we all want that certainty in life. this sort of certainty is knowing that there will always be someone there for you to share your joys and sorrows with, someone to congratulate you on even the smallest achievements cause it's the little things that you feel really proud of, someone to lend a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on, someone to cheer you up when you're feeling so pissed with yourself and to tell you that everything will be alright, someone to give you hugs especially when you need them, someone to wish you goodnight before you go to sleep even when it's like 3am and everyone else has gone to bed, or maybe just someone to hang out with especially when the whole world has no time for you. it doesn't have to be that same someone in particular, but more like having that close set of people to always be there for you.

anyway, maybe, if that quote speaks the truth, then with that faith that everything will be okay in the end, with that certainty in mind, we won't be so scared to live, won't be so scared to love, won't be so scared to do things that we fear we might regret doing, or not doing. everything will work out in the end.




for the first part, im really thankful for people like kexin, jasmine, brudders/sistas, zoo, david to be in my life.


for the second part,
no one really knows what the other party is really thinking or feeling.
but neither party is willing to take the initiative either. ._.










im sorry.
the last time you asked what was wrong, i couldnt tell you.
and i'll probably never ever tell you either cause i'm too cowardly.

i don't have the courage, the certainty, the assurance i need.


but then again, even if i dont talk to you, doesn't mean i dont care.
i still do, i just- can't show it?




sian. i need to change to lj pretty soon.

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ich liebe Tom! 2:15 AM

Saturday, November 7, 2009


!1UH-3 says:
YEAH OMG
hhahh
oh
ahha sheng bully me today la. he say want use hairspray on me
then i say
you spray i kill you
then he say OKAY :D
LOL
then i pretend like want cry liddat
then he was like da jie bu yao ku. muahahha


LOL. hahaha.


today has been quite sian diao, stayed at home the whole day. D: but e-hui calling me in the evening to let me hear teammates sing happy birthday for all the November babies really made my day. :D omg thanks alot to everyone who celebrated and sang over the phone, even though i wasnt there. :D thanks thanks. loves. <3














anyway,



:DDD tokio hotel performs world behind my wall at MTV europe music awards! :D
they seriously never fail to put up a good show. last year was water, this year, fire. :DDD lovesss!

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ich liebe Tom! 12:46 AM

Thursday, November 5, 2009




how can someone's life be controlled by another person.






it's one of those nights where you stare around aimlessly again, thousands of thoughts running through your head, but you have no objective.

it's one of those nights where you feel depressed, but you don't know why or what made you depressed.



“ we don’t look for monsters under our beds anymore,
because, now they’re in our hearts. " -qian's lj







it's one of the nights where i just want to lie in bed and cry myself to sleep.

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ich liebe Tom! 11:07 PM

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

before anything else,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICHOLAS a.k.a. ex- SHARKBOY. :D cause your shark bag no more! D:

on and, JASMINE POON. I MISS YOU. D:

-----




"Dadum! I'm quite happy today, cause we made so many new friends today! :D" -Nelson


after math lecture, which was the only reason why both nelson and i went to school today, both of us went to slack around, undecided of whether we should both go home or just slack around in school. until both of us found 09s60 class bench and decided to crash their class for fun instead hahaha. :D


watched them play chinese chess at first, then both nelson and i went to buy the i heart hc shirts together cause we both didnt bring a shirt and we wanted to play volleyball LOL. then tess, ivan, nelson, ken and i went to the squash courts to play abit of volleyball. watched the pros trying to spike the ball haha, darn pro people.

played around abit, got tired, then their class guys wanted to go lan. so jing jie came to retrieve his ball, but not before practicing abit. crazy his spikes darn scary and imba haha. watched their class guys bullied tess abit (tsk.) before they ran off to keep the ball before going for lan. then tess, nelson and i sian diao, cause nothing to do. so we went back to the class bench and stole his ball back to play again HAHA. hilarious. played abit in the volleyball courts with david, nelson and tess before david went off to play lan and then nelson, tess and i went to practice in the squash courts.

after that the 3 of us got tired so we just sat around in the squash court, which turned out to be pretty comfortable and cooling. :D haha nelson then declared that the squash court was our second home since it was so nice! :D then we decided to go back to the class benches since we were all tired. met chong wei there, who then suggested that we played monopolyyy. :DDDD YAYY. went to rent the game from council, then nelson suggested that we go play in the squash court since it was our second home! LOL. but squash people wanted to use the courts. D: so we ended up walking to fishtank to play in the end.

it was pretty fun playing monopoly with tess, nelson, liqin, chongwei, zhenghao and josh LOL. since i kept getting doubles, zhenghao and i ended up with the most number of properties, but we all didnt managed to get all the properties of the same colour. so our whole table ended up buying properties from each other LOL. tess so depressed cause she didnt have a single property to play with in the beginning, until she bought over the yellow property from zhenghao, who was getting richer by the second, and then i sold my yellow property to her in turn for alliance LOL. then josh was getting upset cause he was the second last and all the properties kept being bought up by others, leaving him with only 2 properties.

the whole game turned into this barter trade/business talk LOL, with each of us offering to buy or sell or trade our properties to get all the properties of the same colour. the scene was pretty hilarious with chongwei offering to buy over this property from zhenghao originally worth 300 bucks with 1k, and then raising it to 1.5k, fighting with liqin over it LOL. darn hilarious. josh was like "1k?! are you crazy?! are you sure you have 1 k?" then chong wei immediately raised it to 1.5k and we were all like "WHAT!? YOU GOT 1.5 K MEH!" HAHAHAHA. darn funnyyyyy. :DDD

so nelson and i managed to get the properties we wanted and we started building 3 houses each for each estate, and because we owned the properties next to each other, the whole lane became super risky and dangerous muahahaha. :D then my stack of monopoly notes got thicker and thicker hahahaha. :DDD darn fun.

but then josh managed to get the richer property to my dismay. D: then each roll became a ticking bomb, cause we didnt know who would go bankrupt next. in the end chongwei was left with 500 bucks, so he combined with tess to form one player hahaha, owning the yellow property. then suddenly nelson and liqin were alliances with each other then the rest of us were like GG. cause both of them had the richest properties on the board. D: so josh and i became alliances cause both of us were richer HAHA. then tess came to join us while zhenghao went to join liqin and nelson LOL. so then it became a game between 2 parties wth. but josh, tess and i won because we had more money.

the last few rounds were darn hilarious cause chongwei and zhenghao were darn lucky, they kept landing on the spaces like chance or community chest, and josh was in jail LOL, which left me to carefully place my token. then liqin and nelson were also trying to avoid our properties but still, they ended up selling most of their houses and mortgaging their properties to pay us instead. :DD


when we finished playing it was almost 2.30 and the game had to end because they had badminton recrea lol. then david who came back from lan, zhenghao, liqin, tess, e-hui who came down, nelson, chris who was injured and i just slacked around at the 60 class bench, flick and play ball haha. nelson, tess and e-hui ate cup noodles for lunch, then after that we went to play ball and flick at the area outside audi. quite fun. ahh people like david and nelson darn zai. D: hehh.

after playing for abit, we decided to go to the volleyball courts to play when the rain stopped instead cause the area outside audi was wet, and taekwondo was training there. but then josh and chongwei sent chris back home first. then david left le. so left me, tess, nelson, liqin and philemon. then we just sianned diao at the volleyball courts cause it was wet too. and we were all very tired haha.

oh oh. by the way, EDWYNA YOU BAD GIRL. D: roarrr.

so then the 5 of us went back to the class benches and then we decided to go coro to get bubbletea. :D haha.

-----





me: "haha i get so many free hugs from so many people nowdays. yayyyy happy happy. :D"
e-hui: "haha i can hug you everyday if it makes you happy. lol. :D"




hahaha. thanks sista! :D <3


sometimes i wish sports would do to me what basketball does to kexin. :/
tiring myself out today kinda made me escape from reality, but it didn't really help me solve my problems, or clear my thoughts. D:

this time, it's getting harder to breathe.

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ich liebe Tom! 9:07 PM

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

& then i realised,


the reason why i've been feeling so bitter all this year, (most of it anyway) was because subconsciously, i still cared.



as little as i showed it, whether in school or at home online, i still cared.
even though i've made new friends, found loved ones whom i can totally depend on, found a family of brudders and sistas, i still cared.




i guess you just didnt care as much. how foolishly stupid can i get.
-----



peter made me realise the above, which made me realise why i kinda wanted to go home alone today.
i didnt want you to see the tears.





& thanks nelson once again for making my night. ayee.
you've been making me smile for the last few nights. (:
simple gestures go a long way. thanks alot. :D

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ich liebe Tom! 11:48 PM


the following is dedicated to peter, e-hui, sheng jie brudder, kexin, and anyone else who's struggling to deal with their own problems, one way or another. ><



Jeremy Camp- Understand

Every time I fall down on my face
I see the one who bore all my shame
Well To know that you are everything I need you be
You're my ever present help in time of need

I know you understand it all
So why don't I get back on my feet again
I know you understand it all
So why don't I get back on my feet again
I know you understand it all

Every pain I feel inside my heart
It takes a faith I know I can't depart
Well To know that you hear every cry I raise to you
Bringing thoughts of hope the words I bring I know are few



------

took bus home with jiawen today, training was quite tiring, partly because mentally i wasn't really prepared. D: sian.

brooded over some stuffs on the bus ride home again, which kinda wore me out even more. D:








it hurts when your parents tell you that you can't pursue what you want or am passionate about,
but it hurts even more when you have your grandparents coming to say that to you.

wth, when i reached home, my grandparents were there.

worse still, they said i should stop just because "girls don't do these type of things. you have no future!"


-----




i really love my teammates. :D they never fail to make my day. :D haha.
they're the only reason why i havent given up now.
i must hold on.

-----



Automatic-tokio hotel

It's automatic
And your heart's like an engine
I die with every beat
You're automatic,
And your voice is electric
Why do I still believe?

It's automatic
Everywhere in your letter
A lie that makes me bleed
It's automatic
When you say things get better
But they never...

There's no real love in you
There's no real love in you
There's no real love in you
Why do I keep loving you





you keep sending me mixed messages, leaving me confused.
i shouldn't even be bothered; i don't know why i'm feeling this.

-----


hello dear, it's been months since we last talked. but now when i read your blog, i have a feeling i don't even know who you really are anymore.

did i even know you back then, when we shared those perfect memories together, so young and carefree before college came to ruin and mess up our lives for us?

maybe that was just another pretty facade. i never knew you before.

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ich liebe Tom! 10:07 PM

Monday, November 2, 2009



haha found this on david's bedpost when i went to his house that day with peter. :D
basically it just speaks "i dont like you. SHOO." haha.


i've been quite sian lately, and i have seriously no motivation to update this space, or there are stuffs that i feel i can't put here otherwise. maybe i should just change to LJ, but i'm such a noob at lj. D:


been tumblr-ing tonight, and i stumbled upon some stuffs which enlightened me much.

like how kexin puts it, some things in life are just not meant to be.
no matter how much you want it, or much you desire, at the end of the day, it all boils down to nothing. nothing at all. ><
who are you going to blame? it's nobody's fault. things just didnt turn out the right way, or how you wanted or expected it to be.

just like what peter said on his tumblr, life just keeps throwing curveballs at you, especially when you least expect.



i think i've been on my guard on some things that i expect to happen. and soon im going to let it off.
that's probably when im going to get hit the hardest.


it's been very, very tiring.
like what kexin said, it's like you've been thinking so much that now, you just dont want to think about anything anymore.

take cover under this happy, smiling and carefree facade,
and try to keep smiling. (:

Labels:


ich liebe Tom! 12:24 AM

Sunday, November 1, 2009



mine's probably soon.

-------


this week has been full of ups and downs. im quite glad kexin chose to confide in me some of her stuffs, i really dont know what would have happened to her if she didnt. continue being blind haha. nah at least she knows what things really are now, even though the choice is really still up to her. (:


there's quite alot going on for me too, with some realization happening on tuesday when i went home with brudders, which haha kinda ruined me when i should have been happy. ._. & then there was the wednesday issue, stoning with kexin for like 3 hours, emoing. then the last 2 days were, idk. uneasy, unpredictable and sort of disheartening since things at home havent really cleared up, and urgh it's really getting tiring. D:

how many times this week have i asked myself if i could really go on, when would i break. it's really tiring, every time after training. D: & im really tired of lying. D: seriously, the conscience is hurting. yet im really unwilling to give up. it's all i have left. D: giving up would mean, suicide? urgh. i've come this far. i should be able to hold on longer.


friday's band really made me doubt my abilities. what the hell was i doing lah. suddenly im so unsure of myself, in so many different aspects (& the decision for all my problems) and everything just came crashing down.

and i realised why i cant do it.
i dont want things to stay like this. i dont want to go out there and do it with a bunch of strangers. i want to do it with my close friends. D: it just doesnt feel right anymore. i cant get that feeling back.

urgh, amidst everything, im really thankful for the ones i have though. :D loves to those who cared and helped me along, like e-hui, kexin, jasmine, nelson, sheng, oli and of course peter and david. <3 company with teammates can totally cheer me up. :DD




and of course, music cures all broken souls.
fangirl again! there's too much daesung footage in this for me to resist HAHA. :D


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ich liebe Tom! 12:40 AM


♥ willkommen

"WIR STERBEN NIEMALS AUS "

Viel zu viel Liebe an der Musik
Viel zu viele Grenzen unbesiegt
So viele Gedanken
und Wörter nicht beendet
Ich glaub nicht das das bald endet

Wir bleiben immer
schreiben uns in die Ewigkeit
Ich weiß das immer
irgendwo was bleibt
Wir fühlen
wir sind fürs Ende nicht bereit
Wir sterben niemals aus
Ihr tragt uns bis in alle Zeit



this is a slightly fangirly blog of a girl, who loves tokio hotel.
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